My husband, Krishnan and I live in Lagos, Nigeria and we have been married for more than two years now. I am architect by profession and had taken a break from work after marriage. Krishnan is the Managing Director at his family run construction company in Lagos, Nigeria.
HOW IT ALL BEGAN
Our baby was a totally unplanned gift from the gods. We always knew we wanted kids and I would always tell Krishnan I wanted three. We would share many a lighter moments discussing about it, and then it just happened, although at the time I had no clue that I was pregnant.
After spending some time in Nigeria, I was ready to go home for a vacation and I left for Kochi, India.
At the time, I was having a slight thyroid issue, and in previous months, I had irregular cycles. So when I didn’t get my period for more than two months, I did not panic. Moreover, I had travelled with my mum to Kuwait to spend a month with my dad.
As usual, from Kuwait, I was feeling uneasy and had slight head aches and then finally, I developed a fever and started profusely vomiting for a week. Even at this time, I didn’t suspect that I was pregnant and we all thought I had gotten a viral fever especially since my mum had also had similar symptoms.
The vomiting still persisted and then we went to see a doctor. The Doctor confirmed that I was two months pregnant with child. I was a bit shaken at first, I couldn’t believe it, I was so happy and at the same time scared and then I had one thought full of clarity “I had to call my husband”.
Krishnan’s reaction was worth a million bucks when I told him, he just couldn’t believe it. he was thinking I was playing a prank on him. I wanted to smash his head at that moment, I mean, why would I joke about something like this? Finally, it was my mom who convinced him the news was true and gave the phone back to me. What happened next was the best, Krishnan was ecstatic, excited, all the positive happy emotions that one could express came out through his conversation with me.
His reaction made me so happy and then I realized “I am going to become a mother, how cool is that?”
I was so excited after this and Krishnan and I had long conversations about how we wanted our kid to grow up and all the regular stuff that new first time parents talk about.
It was at this time that both our excitement levels reached a fever pitch.
We had, over this period, passed on the great news to Krishnan’s parents who were over the moon. Krishnan’s mum and mine were, in particular, so excited.
My dad has always been my pillar of strength throughout my life and he was also so excited that seeing his happy face made me even more happier.
The news quickly spread and on my return to Kochi, India in the next month, the news quickly spread among the family members and everyone was particularly excited.
All my aunts and uncles came over to shower their blessings on me. I was the center of attention and I gradually realized that I have a life growing inside of me.
The mornings were particularly difficult with the morning sickness. The vomiting persisted for about three weeks and then it was time for my husband to meet me for the first time after “The News”.
We all went as a family to pick him up from the airport and he kept touching my stomach on the way home from the airport.
At the time, I felt that maybe he couldn’t believe his eyes – how big I had gotten!!
But, as soon as we got bit of privacy, we sat there holding each other in silence and that was an awesome moment worth remembering.
After a short trip, my husband subsequently returned back to Nigeria and I wanted to kill him for being in a place so far away from me. But, I knew what his work meant to him and I had a great respect for him because of that and decided to spare him.
The passing months were easy. I was on full energy mode. I did everything what the normal me would do on a daily basis. I joined for art classes. I would drive all the time (till the day before my delivery), be by myself, go shopping, go for walks etc.
I was consulting in a nearby hospital and also at Birthvillage. The long waiting and lack of personal attention in hospital made me even more confident in choosing Birthvillage for my birth. I joined all their classes, one which I found particularly useful was their “Mommies workout classes”, which was a great help throughout the pregnancy period. “Yes, I did it till my 9th Month of pregnancy”. At BV I got the chance to embrace and celebrate my pregnancy by having a mehendi art done on my belly .Each time the artist drew, we both could see the baby and my belly move. It was fun and the day’s cherry on top was Donna’s – sound healing meditation. I loved that day!
When ever I tried to sell the BIRTH VILLAGE birth idea to my husband he would always be against it and each time I felt if he was near me I would punch him in the face. All his arguments where baseless and it was tough for us to find middle ground as he was too much for the birth to take place in a nearby hospital. We had many discussions and arguments and then he decided to do a Skype call with one of the midwives at Birth Village. It was during this skype call that my husband opened up to the nouvelle idea of a Birth Village birth.
My Husband came back for the birth of our baby one month prior to the birth and we spent quality time doing “Couple things”.
We also attended the couple workout class .I took my mom too, as I wanted both of them to see what I was doing for 6 months in class. We had loads of fun and enjoyed each other’s company and were so excited about the future.
SHOWTIME
My due date was on 13th June 2017 as per our scan. My husband and I were getting a bit tensed when I entered the last week, as my husband had to get back to Lagos. There was added pressure from everyone, with people calling and asking, enquiring on the status of the pregnancy. It was as though everyone was thinking there was some switch one should press and the kid would pop out. I couldn’t help but feel anxious as was natural. I had my first “Braxton and Hicks contractions” and Mucus plug discharge on Saturday 10th June 2017. I called up my midwife and informed her (I was excited to see that something was actually happening), so she told me there is nothing to worry and to come in for a checkup, just to see if everything is fine. And it was. Also she asked us to go out and have some fun. We went to watch “Wonder Woman” and had a great time with slight cramps in between, but I did not find them hard at all.
We came back after watching the movie. My husband and I were amused that maybe our little one could be a “Wonder woman Fan”.
On Sunday 11th June 2017, by evening, the contractions started coming in strong every 2-3 minutes. Krishnan was always there at my back massaging me. It felt soo good. After some time, contractions were becoming tough to bear and so we decided to go to the “Birth Village”. I told my mom and Krishnan not to freak out and that, maybe, if I’m not 6cm dilated we might have to return home and it started raining heavily.
I was afraid if my husband would run away because he would be scared, but he stuck by my side and we got dropped in “Birth Village”. My midwife received us with a very pleasant smile. The moment I saw her I knew I was safe and she checked me up and so “YES, I WAS 5cm dilated” (HURAAY!).
The contractions were coming in thick and fast. It was difficult and I was finding it difficult to stand or sit. It would be an understatement to say that it was uncomfortable.
The Midwives at Birthvillage were extremely co-operative and helpful.
My husband was my pillar of strength. Throughout the procedure, he stayed by my side, held my hand and assured that “I am there with you, you can do this”. It was assuring and I was happy that he was there at that very moment with me to share the birth of our first child.
From there on started all the different stunts – climbing stairs, squatting, wall leaning, birth ball etc.
Midwives had always told us during Lamaze and workout classes “you will need your thigh and arm muscles to be strong” – and I followed that advice religiously. But unless I went into labor I did not know the intensity in which I’m going to use my muscles. MUST SAY – I was impressed by my own strength and also my midwife’s (I was all the time holding onto her, throughout my pushes and squats.)
The midwives suggested me to get into the pool, so that it could help me deal with the pain better.
The warm water did help me in a great deal and felt a bit light in there. Now, the next step was my water to break. Priyanka kept telling me to change positions to help the water break. Then, as she told me to keep my back close to the wall of pool – GUSH – there was a force and pop, and yes, there goes my water- YES!
From there I went to the rope.
I remember very clearly though, that, at one point I thought I couldn’t do it anymore. (My Exact words – I’M DONE.)
But MY MIDWIVES and KRISHNAN reminded me that I’m the only person who can bring this baby out. They kept telling me how good I was doing after every push. Krishnan kept whispering into my ears -” you can do it Devu!”
Towards the end I could feel something down there and I was asked to touch and OMG!!! I could feel my baby’s head. WOW!
My husband did surprise me and everyone there with his calmness as he was not fazed by the bloody nature of the birth.
The moment of magic arrived at 4:35 am on 12th June 2017, early morning after about 7 hours of labor.
But, that one moment wiped out all the pain and I got emotional, I lost my control and burst out crying kissing my baby girl for the very first time welcoming into the world. My husband for the first time through the whole ordeal was also not anymore an epitome of composure, he was stunned, surprised and more than anything on top of the world.
Our bundle of joy, our baby girl had arrived. She was ours, ours only. We stayed there in an embrace, looking at her for a moment. We chanted a silent prayer for welcoming her into this world.
My husband was then asked to cut the baby’s cord, which he did without any hesitation.
The midwives where all around us and we were so grateful for their help and their patience.
They laid her to rest on my chest and I held my baby and we fell asleep for a little while. In between when I opened my eyes I could see Krishnan holding our baby girl and them both looking deep into each other – what a beautiful sight that was. I’m sure that is and will be the favorite memory of my life time.
My mum then arrived in an hour’s time and she was so excited to be a grandmother. It was amazing seeing her so happy and holding the baby with utmost care. It was at this moment that I understood what it meant to be a parent, “To never stop caring for your child”. I wanted to be that person for my daughter, there for all her trials and tribulations in life telling her “Darling, it will be ok”.
AFTER DELIVERY
I was discharged on 12th June 2017, from the center later in the day at 4pm.
Before leaving, the Chechis at BV gave me a good herbal bath – that was soo relaxing, felt really good.
My sister, cousins and my granny were all eagerly waiting for us at home to see the new addition to our family.
Over the next few days we were visited by our relatives, Krishnan’s parents and my dad. Everyone was happy to see the new addition to the family.
Krishnan enjoyed holding the baby and he was surprisingly more confident in holding and moving with the baby about. I was extremely happy seeing him holding our little bundle of joy and walking about with such a big smile on his face. That was a moment of utter bliss.
My Baby girl was indeed an unexpected, unplanned gift and that is why she is so special to us. She is a gift from the gods when we were least expecting it.
I know that my husband and I will raise our baby girl to be a strong independent, confident, well educated and beautiful woman, a true “Wonder Woman”.
I guess this is all we can all hope for.
BV Notes
Devika worked really hard during her pregnancy to stay healthy and active, and we could see the results during the labor. Her and her husband stayed a confident team, even when the going got tough. She was super strong and grounded and brought her baby into the world in the strong and confident way that we all hoped for. Well done, mama!!!
